


Echo

by agrove



Category: Ten Inch Hero
Genre: Alcohol, Army, F/M, PTSD, Pain, Romance, inner turmoil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 18:44:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7695274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agrove/pseuds/agrove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slight AU. Priestly joined the Army and after a four year tour has finally come home broken and alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea would not leave me alone so I decided to finally get it on paper today. Slight AU. Deciding he wanted more out of life than being a short order cook at the Beach City Grill Priestly enlisted in the Army and after one four year tour overseas has returned to Santa Cruz. This takes place after the movie but Tish and Priestly never got together.

Priestly stood nervously across the street from the Beach City Grill trying to gather the strength to walk across the street. His hands were stuffed in the pockets of his well worn blue jeans and his sneakered feet tapped nervously against the dirty concrete sidewalk. His heart was pounding steadily against his ribs and he took a deep breath trying to expel the overwhelming nervousness that was threatening to consume him. He looked skyward for a moment, squinting against the harsh California sun before looking back at the grill. Through the clear windows that were still littered with posters he could see old familiar faces moving about busily as they served subs by the inch to waiting customers. A groan escaped him involuntarily at his cowardice. He had served in a war for Christ's sake and here he was having a panic attack at the thought of seeing his old friends. Knowing he needed to either walk across the street or run in the other direction he took one more deep breath and lifted his foot to take the first step.

As he slowly approached he saw that from the outside everything looked the exact same as when he left four years ago. The screen door was still painted every color of the rainbow and the paint was still chipping slightly, the exterior windows were clean and chatter could be heard from inside. The door creaked as he pulled it open and stepped inside, the smells of fresh soup and meat assaulting his nose. A warmth spread through him that he hadn't felt in four long, hell filled years when he looked at Jen, Piper, Tish, and Trucker. It was surprising that they were all still here after so long but he was extremely thankful that they were. He nervously licked his lips and stepped foreword to the counter and stared at Trucker who was smiling politely at him, no sign of recognition in his warm eyes. "What can I get for you today?"

Priestly shifted from foot to foot anxiously and cleared his throat as his eyes flickered around the room never making eye contact, "Hey Truck."

Trucker frowned at the nickname and his eyes narrowed as he obviously tried to figure out whether he knew this person or not. When his eyes landed on the younger man's neck his eyes widened, "Priestly?"

Jen, Piper, and Tish whipped around at Truckers question and stared at the unrecognizable face standing on the opposite side of the counter. All three looked him up and down but nothing about him said Priestly except the tattoo that was still situated on the left side of his neck.

Feeling extremely uncomfortable with all the staring he lowered his gaze to the floor and rubbed the back of his neck, knowing it was as red as his burning cheeks. He startled when two arms wrapped around him in a tight hug and he looked up to Trucker's smiling face, "You're back!"

Hating that he didn't know what to say he simply nodded and offered a weak, "Yeah."

Jen and Piper surged forward and gathered him into hugs but Tish stayed behind the counter and with critical eyes took in his appearance. Everything about him was different and more subdued, almost like an echo or shadow of his formal self. His normally bright mohawked hair was cut short and he no longer had any facial hair. Instead of a witty neon shirt he wore a simple black t-shirt with well worn jeans and converse sneakers. He didn't have on any bracelets, necklaces, or chains and all his piercings were gone. His skin, which used to be slightly pale was now well tanned and pulled tightly over his much leaner than normal frame. It was his eyes that had changed the most though. The normally clear and bright green eyes that she remembered so well were now shadowed and dull and when he met her eyes she almost had to take a step back at how dead they looked. Forcing away her concerns for now she walked around the counter and hugged him tightly. "Hey Renaissance man," she whispered into his ear before pulling back. She was rewarded with a small almost shy smile before he glanced away.

Seeing that he was probably feeling overwhelmed Trucker wrapped an arm around his shoulders and guided him through the back and out the rear door into the alleyway. Hoping he would talk now that he didn't have an audience Trucker began asking questions hoping to get him to talk. He could see the haunted shadows in his eyes and the way he stood stiffly, like he was waiting for someone to attack him. He recognized all the signs of a battle worn soldier because he had seen them all in the mirror many years ago. "When did you get back?"

Priestly who had been staring at the cause-mobile turned his attention to Trucker, "Couple weeks ago."

Trucker nodded, "Where have you been staying?"

"A hotel," he answered simply. He flinched harshly as a car backfired and even though he knew Trucker noticed he was thankful he didn't comment. "Not quite sure what to do now that I'm back. Can't exactly pick up where I left off."

The older hippie nodded his head sadly, the words ringing true and familiar. "No you can't but you can start new. If you want a place to stay for bit you can stay at my pad and I'd love to have you back at the grill."

Priestly wanted to accept the offers but knew it would be unwise. For the last two weeks he had awoken screaming in the middle of the night from flashbacks and nightmares and that wasn't something he wanted anyone to witness. As for working at the grill he wasn't sure he was ready for civilian life yet. He was like a ticking time bomb and he knew it. Little things set him off now making him a danger to himself and others. PTSD the doctor had told him like it was the simplest thing in the world. Just take these pills and you'll be fine he had said. Bull.

Seeing the younger man was warring with himself he decided to lay all his cards on the table and hope that Priestly did the same. "When I came back I thought it would be so great, to be home again. I was so wrong. Things that mattered before didn't anymore and I had changed so much that no one I knew even recognized me anymore. I wanted to be out of the warzone so bad but when I got back I realized that was my home now and I didn't know how to live normally anymore. To just relax and not be on full alert scared that someone was trying to kill me was foreign. It took me a long time to get to where I was comfortable in civilian life again. It helped me a lot to have someone to lean on, someone who knew what I was going through."

Priestly just stared at him with dead eyes before he felt moisture gathering in them against his will. Not trusting his words he nodded.

Trucker clapped him on the back, "It's always unlocked so whenever you're ready bring your stuff over. You can set up camp in the guest room and as for the grill whenever you're ready just come and hang out for a bit. You don't need to work or anything. Just take your time."

"What about Zoe? You guys still together?"

The hippie nodded with a smile, "Yeah but we kept our own places."

Priestly nodded again and stared at his feet as he kicked a small rock across the back parking spaces.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Trucker asked softly.

Priestly instantly shook his head and looked at Trucker with red rimmed eyes, "I can't Truck. No yet. I just can't."

Knowing he had pushed as much as he should for right now he nodded and walked past Priestly and reentered the grill.

Priestly sat heavily on the back step of the grill and rubbed his calloused hands back and forth across his short hair. He felt so lost, so alone. For four years he waited for the day he would be reunited with his makeshift family and now that it was here he was choking. More like drowning actually. Everything was so much duller here that he wasn't even sure how to deal with it. He was so used to bright flashing lights and loud explosions that he felt like a neurotic mess here where everything was so quiet and calm. It was all just too much and for a fleeting moment he wondered why he didn't just reenlist.

Suddenly a hand touched the back of his neck and scared him so badly he fell off the step and onto the asphalt. Tish's eyebrows shot up and her hands flew to her mouth, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

Priestly shook his head and frowned when he felt moisture on his face. He had been crying and hadn't even realized it. His hand rose quickly to swipe away the offending objects before he lifted himself up and sat back down on the step trying to slow his pounding heart and gather his jumbled thoughts.

"What's up?" he finally asked Tish who was now sitting next to him.

She shrugged and bit her lip looking extremely uncomfortable. "Nothing, I just wanted to see you. You look good, different."

He let out a small laugh, "Definitely different."

The pair lapsed into an uncomfortable silence and Priestly began to fidget when long forgotten feelings and emotions suddenly reappeared. "I missed you."

Tish turned to face him and smiled at his bright red cheeks. She scooted closer and laid her head on his shoulder, "I missed you too. Things weren't the same after you left."

Priestly huffed and stood abruptly before sitting down again on the opposite side of Tish. At her confused expression he pointed to his ear, "I lost most of my hearing in this ear. Easier to move than strain to hear."

"Oh. So what now?"

He shrugged, "I'm going to stay with Truck until I figure that out. He thought I should help out at the grill until I decide. So what have you been up to?"

A sigh escaped her, "Whole lot of nothing. I'm sure you'll find this shocking but I haven't been with anybody in months. I just want a normal happy relationship now and apparently guys just don't want that."

Priestly wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, "You'll find somebody."

She pulled away from him slightly and met his dull eyes when he turned with a questioning look, "What if I already did?" Priestly didn't even have time to react as Tish leaned forward and pushed her soft lips against his. This was everything he had wanted for so long but at the same time it wasn't. He wanted to be with Tish, love her and enjoy her but he couldn't right now. He was too dead inside to even try to live. He slowly pulled back and felt guilt seep in at her hurt expression. He leaned foreword and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"I'm sorry Tish but I can't do this right now. You deserve better than me. I'm too broken Tish."

Tish swallowed past the lump in her throat, "What happened to you Priestly? This isn't you."

He looked dejectedly at his shoes and for the umpteenth time wondered if he made the right decision in walking into the grill. "I changed Tish. The Priestly you knew is gone and I highly doubt he'll ever come back. Too much has happened."

She took a deep breath and grabbed his face in her hands. "We all change Priestly, it's a part of life. I won't push you or anything but I'd like to help you through what you're going through if you'll let me and when every things said and done maybe we can talk about us again?"

He stood and stuck his hands into his pockets, "Why Tish? Why do you even want an us because when I left I don't remember any fuzzies between us?"

She stood up and wrapped her arms around herself, "I was stupid Priestly. Just like you said I was too wrapped up in the wrapping paper to see what was inside. You're the best person I've ever known and unfortunately it took you leaving for me to realize that. If you don't want to be with me I completely understand but even if we could just hang out and be friends I'll take it."

The pair stood silently just staring at each other until Priestly moved forward and dipped his head to kiss her softly. "I can't do this right now Tish but if you're patient I'd like to give it a try."

She grabbed his hand and squeezed, "I waited four years, I can wait longer. Can I ask you one thing though?" He nodded once.

"Why did you join the Army?"

Priestly let out a breath and shrugged, "Seemed like a good idea at the time. I just wanted more out of life and seeing as I didn't have anything here I just went for it." That was mostly the truth. Before he enlisted it just felt like everybody was moving forward but he was just running in place. Trucker had Zoe, Jen had Jeff, Piper had Noah and Julia, and Tish was never at a loss for company. It seemed only he was the lonely one and it was beyond depressing. He wanted more out of life than loneliness and a dead end job and on a stupid whim he had signed up on a random Tuesday. Only now did he realize just how good he had it.

Tish accepted his answer and glanced at their still entwined fingers. "Come on." He allowed her to pull him back into the grill and once she detached herself he sat down on a stool by the counter.

"Are you hungry?" Jen asked, Piper next to her with an eager expression.

He shrugged, "I could eat." His eyes took in the scene in front of him and felt comfort at the familiarity. Trucker was leaning against the cash register counter with a relaxed smile watching Jen and Piper who were busy making him a sandwich and Tish was leaning over the counter by the computer doodling on a ticket and sneaking glances at him. His lifted his arm onto the counter and laid his chin on his palm with a thoughtful expression. When he met Trucker's eyes the corners of his lips twitched, maybe he would be all right.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was supposed to only be a one shot but my muse hit me hard and now I feel like I need to continue this.

Priestly sucked down his third beer as he stared at the black tv screen from his position on Trucker's well worn couch. As he swallowed the last cool drop he lowered the glass bottle from his lips and stared at the dark brown bottle before idly picking at the damp label. Three months. It had been three long months since he started staying at Truckers house and in his opinion he was no better now than he was when he showed up at the grill. He was still homeless, unemployed, and unfit to integrate into regular civilian life. With a feeling of disgust he rose and grabbed the other two empty bottles from the table before walking to the kitchen and depositing them into the plastic trash can with a soft clink. Without hesitation he grabbed for the fridge handle to pull it open and grab another beer but halted his motions as his fingers wrapped around the cool metal handle. He didn't need another beer, he was already feeling light headed and he even though he refused to admit it he was well on is way to becoming an alcoholic. With a heavy sigh he wandered back to the couch and sat down as his eyes wandered around the room trying to find anything to occupy himself with. His eyes flickered to the tv before looking away, he didn't need to watch violence on television, he had enough of that playing in his head 24/7.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and his hand reached in to grab it. He had turned off the ringtone after it had kept startling him. A quick glance at the caller id indicated it was Trucker calling and not Tish and for that he was thankful. When he first showed up Tish had expressed her concern and how she wanted to help him but from that point on she had hardly spoken to him, which he knew was his fault. He had been avoiding her even going as far as feigning sleep when she popped over to Trucker's house to check on him. He didn't want her to see him this messed up and worthless, he had shown weakness three months ago and regretted it. She didn't need to see his pain.

His thumb pressed the glowing green 'answer' button before he brought the phone to his good ear. "Hello?"

Trucker's pleasant voice floated through the line. "Hey, how are you doing today?"

Not knowing exactly how to respond Priestly stayed silent. He knew he could talk about how he was feeling worthless and like a loser but he knew know one wanted to listen to him whine so he kept his mouth shut and his thoughts to himself.

Trucker apparently got the message that today wasn't a very good day. "Any day you're still breathing is a good day man. It's pretty slow why don't you come hang out here for a bit?"

Priestly's heart began to beat faster at the prospect of stepping out into the world. In the past few months he had of course left Trucker's house but it wasn't that often and when he returned he always felt exhausted, the task of holding himself together draining what little energy he had. "I don't know Truck…"

The old hippie's voice dropped slightly and Priestly heard shuffling. He must be moving to the back. "I get it man, you know I do but you should come hang out. It's just me and Jen right now and like I said it's slow."

Priestly released a sigh into the empty living room and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He was beyond exhausted and knew he was depressed but couldn't help it. He was just tired and couldn't seem to get a reprieve. Nights were long and filled with very little sleep which led to long days and even longer nights, it was a horrible cycle that he couldn't escape but knew he needed too. His depression was so bad that now he was on medication for it, the small white pills joining his PTSD pills and his pills for insomnia that he never took since they gave him nightmares. "Yeah, I'll come for a bit."

Trucker was obviously pleased. "Great see you soon."

His hand hit the end button and slid the phone back into the pocket of his jeans before he stood and walked to the door knowing if he didn't force himself to do this right now it wouldn't happen. With a strong feeling of anxiety he grabbed his key off the counter and exited the house to walk to the grill which was only a few blocks away. His hand reached into his pocket and pulled out his aviators to slip them on to protect him from the sun's bright rays but also to protect him from the world. When he wore glasses no one could see his eyes, no one could see the real him. He knew he was a coward but he didn't want people to see the emotions in his eyes, to see how much he was suffering in silence. A lip in the sidewalk caught the edge of his All-Star's and he stumbled slightly before catching himself. He needed to pay attention to his surroundings more; if he was still overseas he'd be dead right now. But he wasn't overseas he was here, where everything still felt weird and wrong, like a new pair of shoes that looked great but rubbed the back of your ankles raw when you wore them.

He finally made it to the grill and with an unsteady grip he pulled open the door and entered the familiar but still unfamiliar grill. So much had changed in the last four years that he was still having a hard time catching up. On the outside it seemed like everything was exactly as he had left it, everyone still working at the quirky shop but underneath the normal was change.

Trucker was almost the exact same as when he left. He was still with Zoe and from what he had told Priestly everything was going well. They had kept their own apartments but saw each other often and went for almost nightly strolls down the beach.

Jen had changed quite a bit from when he last saw her. She and Jeff had dated for over a year before they both decided it just wasn't working and split amicably. Due to the relationship and it ending on good terms Jen's self confidence had grown exponentially and she was now more outgoing then Priestly could have ever imagined. She had grown out her hair slightly and was one of the first ones to jump into a conversation now. The most surprising thing to Priestly was that she was bi and now in a relationship with a woman. He was an extremely open person and was never one to pass judgment but it had totally caught him off guard.

Piper was also doing great. She was still with Noah and Julia and even had a two year old now. The pair had gotten married a year after he had left and were now living happily. Piper was even going to art school to earn a degree to teach art.

Tish was the only one who didn't seem happy with where she was at. She and Priestly had talked a little more about what had transpired over the past four years for her but it just amounted to more of the same. She had multiple partners and was happy with that until about a year ago when she decided she wanted more out of life than multiple losers following her around and trying to pick her up at work. The answer to all her problems she realized had been standing next to her for months before he left without a promise to return.

Trucker looked up when the door opened and smiled brightly at Priestly who looked like he was forcing casualness. "You made it. You hungry or anything?"

He shook his head before heading to the back of the small shop and sliding into a booth. His gaze took in all the empty booths and he felt his heart sink a little when he thought of Mr. Julius and Lucille and Bam Bam. Trucker had informed him that Mr. Julius had passed away a few months ago and Lucille had decided life was too short to stick around so with a final goodbye her and Bam Bam had hit the road to see all the places she ever wanted to.

He slid off his glasses and smiled at Jen when she slid into the booth across from him. "Hey Priestly haven't seen you in here for a while."

Priestly just nodded and hated that for the millionth time he had no idea what to say. He knew it bothered everyone that the normally talkative and abrasive man they knew was now silent and standoffish but he couldn't help his reactions.

Jen took it upon herself to continue the conversation on her own. "It's been pretty slow today. There was a small rush but that's it. You look good are you growing your hair back out?"

He rubbed a hand through his hair with a small smile. "Yeah. Don't know what I'm going to do with it yet though." From the first day he had started growing his hair out but the longer it got the more it bothered him and with mixed feelings he had gotten a hair cut a few weeks ago. It was now in just a basic cut with clean edges and longer on top but still short. At least he had sideburns now but they weren't near as large as they used to be.

"You'll figure it out," she said with a smile. "Well I better get back to work." Before he could move away she grabbed his scarred hand tightly. "I'm glad you're here."

Priestly just nodded quietly and watched her walk back behind the counter to check the computer for online orders. He stared at his hand that Jen had been holding a moment before clenching it tightly and relaxing it again. Through the entire four years he had been at war he had never gotten injured except for his hand. An explosive device had landed next to him and by some miracle only his hand had received damage in the form of thirteen pieces of shrapnel which had pretty much shredded it. It still worked and was all there but it was covered in scars like some sort of franken-hand.

Trucker slid into the booth next startling Priestly out of his thoughts. He slid a sandwich across the table to Priestly and opened one of his own before digging in. Priestly pushed the sandwich away before Trucker pushed it right back. "You need to eat Priestly."

"I'm not hungry," he said quietly. He was never hungry anymore and the only reason he could come up with was his depression.

Trucker dropped his voice so the conversation wouldn't be heard by Jen. "You still need to eat. You've lost weight since you got back." He was trying to keep it somewhat light but he was nervous. Priestly was beyond lean when he showed up three months ago but he was approaching anorexia now. His skin was tight across his entire body showing jutting cheekbones and sharp shoulder blades, all his clothes hung loosely on his thin frame. All Trucker wanted was for him to eat a little bit but it seemed like that wasn't going to happen. He decided tough love was the only answer.

"I'm not going to tell you again. Pick up the sandwich and eat it now," he hissed.

Priestly looked up from where he had been staring at the table with wide eyes. He had never heard such a harsh tone from the laid back surfer and before he even realized it he had taken a bite of his sandwich. The two ate in silence until Priestly finished his entire sandwich. He might not have an appetite anymore but apparently his body had realized it was starving and acted on it because he felt more sated than he had in a very long time.

Trucker smiled brightly, "Everyday is a victory and that was yours for today." He stood and walked towards the counter leaving a thoughtful Priestly behind. The next hour passed by quietly with only a few customers trickling in, Jen and Trucker taking care of them quickly under Priestly's watchful eyes.

Jen finished washing the silverware and started to gather it to dry on the counter. "Trucker will you grab a couple towels please?"

Trucker nodded and walked to the back as Jen continued gathering the silverware. Just as she grabbed the last knife her hand slipped around everything else and the silverware fell from her grip and into the sink with loud sharp metallic clangs. She flinched at the loud noise and flashed Trucker an apologetic smile when he appeared a second later. "Sorry, they slipped." She frowned when she noticed his eyes weren't on her but looking in the direction Priestly was sitting.

"Lock the front door and go ahead home. I'll lock up." He didn't waste any time in making sure she did as told he just took slow steps towards Priestly who was sitting in the booth shaking his head back and forth mumbling. His hands were covering his ears and his eye lids were clenched shut as he rocked back and forth.

Priestly was in hell. The only word that barely did it justice was hell. Everywhere he turned he saw the bloodied bodies of his brothers staring at him with dead eyes, sending the silent message, 'why do you get to live?'. He flinched when he heard the zip of a bullet flying too close to his head and slammed his head back into the sand, ignoring the grit between his teeth and cutting into the tan skin of his cheek. He lifted his head just enough to peek over the horizon before lying his head back down on the scalding sand. His breath came in short pants as his hand blindly searched his vest for another clip and he prayed that he hadn't dropped it when they had been ambushed. A quick feeling of relief spread through him as his fingers brushed against the hot metal in his left pant cargo pocket. He lifted it and with a small amount of difficulty released the empty clip from his rifle and clicked the new one it. The air was stale and tasted of death when he sucked in a breath trying to gather himself before he sprinted for better cover. Without further hesitation he tucked in his feet and pushed with everything he had before sprinting across the barren desert. He could hear the zip of bullets as they buried themselves into the sand around him but he surged forward until he dove into a small crack in the land. He allowed a small moment of victory before he heard a metal thunk near his head. With fearful eyes he turned to see the grenade roll slowly and unevenly into the crevasse. A million things flew through his mind in that moment, every thought flying by so quickly he felt like he was seizing. His body acted on instinct and he curled into a small ball, his hands grabbing the sides of his camouflaged helmet just as the device exploded.

"Priestly come back. You're in the grill. You're safe. You're home."

The noise was beyond anything he could have ever imagined and everything went silent before a piercing ringing invaded his senses quickly overwhelming him. He knew he was screaming but no sound was heard from his lips, just an ear piercing ringing. His hand felt like it was on fire and when he looked at it all he could see was blood and chunks of red colored flesh. Thick red blood poured from his hand quickly coating his sleeve before dripping onto the pristine sand that was only broken by the shine from brass bullet casings. He screamed in pain and grabbed his backpack off his shoulders digging frantically with one hand for anything that he could use. Smooth cloth met his fingers and he quickly pulled out a shrit before wrapping it tightly around his hand, ignoring the searing pain that was spreading down his arm and forcing pain filled tears from his eyes.

"Can you hear me Priestly? You're safe. It's Trucker. I need you to talk to me. You're home Priestly. Home. Trucker. Jen. Tish. Piper. You're home Priestly."

With a gasp Priestly jerked his head up with wild eyes that searched for threats as his heart pounded in his ears. His shaking hands wrapped themselves around the edge of the table as he tried to ground himself. When he felt like he was somewhat under control he looked up at Trucker's face which was twisted with worry. He felt sick to his stomach at the pity shining in the older man's eyes and without a word he stood and walked to the door before flipping the lock and walking out into the night.

His heart was still pounding as his sneakers slapped against the pavement as he jogged to Trucker's house. This wasn't the first time he had an episode in front of Trucker but this was definitely the worst. He felt raw inside and out and when he felt tears begin to fall down his face he just ran faster. His feet moved quickly as he pushed himself harder trying to outrun the pain, the hurt, the feelings of fear and anger and hopelessness. When he reached Trucker's house he quickly unlocked the door and walked to his room to grab his always packed bag. He threw it over his shoulder and walked back to the living room only to halt when he saw Trucker standing there.

"Where are you going?"

Priestly blanched at the question. Where was he going? This was the only place he could even go since he was officially broke as of three days ago. He had no close relatives and no friends. "I don't know but I can't stay here."

Trucker calmly stood in the kitchen by the door. "I won't stop you but I'd like you to reconsider. You shouldn't be ashamed Priestly. You've seen things that normal people could never imagine."

"I just can't do this Truck." Exactly what he couldn't do he was unsure. He wasn't sure if he was talking about living there, living in Santa Cruz, or living period. Living. Is that even what he was doing now? It sure didn't feel like he was living his life, it felt like he was just trying to survive.

Trucker walked over to the couch and dropped down still watching Priestly. "You're never going to move on if you don't try harder Priestly. I know you're trying but we both know you keep pushing everyone away, myself included. Tish said she hasn't talked to you in over three weeks. People are you're connection to the world, they're the ones that make it home."

Priestly eyed him before he dejectedly dropped his olive green pack onto the hardwood floor of Trucker's house. "What if it never gets better? What if this is just me now?"

"It's not. You're in there somewhere and you'll find yourself or something even better if you just keep living your life man."

He walked over to the couch and dropped down next to Trucker with a sad and lost expression. "I don't even know how to live my life anymore and I know I can't just mooch off of you forever."

Trucker flashed him an easy smile. "Not forever no, but it's only been three months and I enjoy the company. Nice to have another guy around."

Priestly let out a small laugh and the pair descended into silence until it was broken by Priestly's phone vibrating. He pulled it out with reluctance and stared at the caller id.

"You should answer it," was all Trucker sad before clapping him on the shoulder and walking into his room.

He warred with himself as he stared at the still buzzing object. Maybe he should answer it and take Truckers advice. Maybe it was time to really start trying to move on. His thumb pressed down on the answer button before he could second-guess himself.

"Hello?"

The line was silent for a moment before Tish's excited voice came over it. Apparently she was as shocked as he was that he answered. "Hey! How's it going?"

Priestly hated how awkward this was. He missed the easy banter that used to flow between them, "Fine."

"Good. Well I was calling to see if you wanted to come over tonight and watch a movie or something."

He could hear the hope in her voice and it almost felt good that someone actually wanted to hang out with him but then he remembered that hope was a wasted thought. Hope was what he felt when he first joined the Army and it had chewed him up and spat him out leaving him dull and empty. Hope was for dreamers and idealists not soldiers and realists. "Tish I don't think…"

"Please?" she injected, effectively cutting him off. "We won't do anything except watch a movie. I know you don't want anything else."

Priestly stayed silent for a few moments trying to decide if he could handle this or not. It had been such a bad day maybe this and not a drinking binge was what he needed. "Ok. Where do you live?"

"I moved. I'm on South Street now."

He memorized her new address and hung up before standing and grabbing his jacket. His motions halted when he reached the door and he again tried to decide if he could handle this or not. A part of him wanted to run to Tish's house and be held and comforted, to have her make him forget everything that had happened but another part screamed at him that he didn't deserve her. He had killed people and let people die, he was stained and tainted in a way that no matter what he did he would always be unclean and the last thing he wanted was for any of that stain to rub off on Tish.

"You can do it. Go have a good night, you deserve it."

Priestly turned slightly to see Trucker in the doorway to his room. He grabbed the handle and opened the door but not before his thoughts involuntarily escaped his lips. "I don't deserve anything good."

The walk went much quicker than he wanted it to and before long he was standing at Tish's door just staring at it. He knew he looked like a creeper to anyone walking by but he couldn't find the courage to knock on the dark brown wood door. It stood there mocking him, everything he wanted on the other side and he couldn't get through. Wouldn't go through. He couldn't do this. He turned and began walking away before the door flew open revealing Tish. "Where are you going?"

He turned on the sidewalk and didn't meet her eyes. "This is a mistake Tish. Sorry." Not waiting for a response he turned back around and forced his feet to move even though it now felt like he was walking through quick sand. He heard her move and jog towards him and he felt both relief and fear as her steps grew closer.

"Please don't go. Come inside and we can just hang out."

With a look to the heavens for strength he turned and nodded silently before following her into her house. It was larger than her last place but still modest in size. It was well furnished and cozy but at the same time unfamiliar and it set him on edge. He didn't like not knowing the layout of places anymore, he wanted to know all access points and exits.

Tish watched his tense form scan the room. "You can look around if you want and I'll get us something to drink."

Not even acknowledging her words he stepped forward and began committing everything to memory wandering in and out of every room, ignoring personal effects and only focusing on the windows and doors. When he felt satisfied he returned to the living room were Tish was sipping a glass of wine. He sat down on the opposite side of the couch and bit the inside of his cheek. Why did everything have to be so uncomfortable now?

Tish leaned forward and grabbed a glass tumbler off the stone coffee table and handed it to him. A quick sniff indicated whiskey and he forced himself not to gulp it. Blissful oblivion was better than sitting here so tense he could hardly even sit still.

Obviously feeling the tension Tish flipped on a movie and Priestly was thankful it was a comedy and not an action movie. He didn't need any more action in his life. The minutes ticked by and Tish rose to pour herself another glass of wine and a few more fingers of whiskey for him. With every swallow he felt a little warmer, a little less tense, and a little more open to the idea of hanging out with Tish. By his fourth glass he was feeling pretty damn good about everything and wondered why he hadn't been hanging out with her the whole time.

The movie played forgotten and silent on the tv, Tish having muted it so she could tell Priestly stories about things he had missed. She was currently talking about when Piper had accidently caught her apron on fire and Trucker had thrown his soda on her to help.

Priestly found himself laughing. Honest genuine laughter and it felt great. He had almost forgotten what it sounded like. His hand snaked out and grabbed his tumbler, swallowing the last of the burning liquid in it before setting it back down on the table. Drunk. He was definitely drunk. A pleasant numbness coated his entire body and it felt wonderful.

With unfocused and bloodshot eyes he looked at the clock on the wall. "I should get going, it's pretty late."

Tish glanced at the clock before looking back to him with a hesitant expression. "You don't have to go."

And if those weren't the magic words. Priestly was on her in an instant and when their lips met it was everything he had ever hoped for and more. Lips crashed against the others as fingers and hands worked quickly to shed clothing and within a few minutes the room was filled with frantic panting and soft groans.

Priestly was on cloud nine, lust and liquor magnifying every sense and dulling every thought. Somewhere in the back of his mind he felt like he shouldn't be doing this, like it was wrong but he quickly pushed the thoughts away and focused on the writhering body underneath him. It had been so long for both and within ten minutes both found their release.

Reality came crashing back down on Priestly's shoulders as soon as he caught his breath. He jerked back with wide eyes before quickly slipping his clothes back on and heading for the door. He ignored Tish's frantic and worried words and exited the house trying to put as much distance between him and her as possible. That wasn't supposed to happen, he wasn't supposed to get close to Tish and definitely wasn't supposed to sleep with her. This brought on so many things he wasn't ready to think about or feel. He paused a few blocks away and laid his head against the cool metal of a neighborhood stop sign trying to go over what the hell had just happened. It was the alcohol, he had drank so much that he had forgotten all his fears and doubts and slept with Tish. Without a condom.

He banged his head against the green metal and released a loud curse into the night air. How did he ever survive being this stupid? His head throbbed from the impact with the sign but didn't hurt as bad as he thought it would, he must still be pretty drunk. He continued his journey towards Truckers house and turned when a car slowed down next to him and a voice asked what he was doing. He turned to see a police car and two officers staring at him. Wonderful.

Two hours later he was sitting in a jail cell for being drunk in public and trying to sober up. They had let him off with just a warning when he explained the situation but still kept him in the drunk tank until he sobered up. The night passed slowly and he used the time to reiterate to himself how last night was such a monumentally bad idea. It should have never happened and he should have never let it happen. God he was so stupid. He couldn't even handle hanging out at the grill for a couple hours how was he supposed to handle a relationship. He knew he needed to get laid and even now underneath all the stress he was feeling more relaxed than he had in a while but the fact still remained he had slept with Tish. He should have just gone to a bar and found a nobody to make him forget the past if only for a little while.

An officer appeared at the door to the cell and with a curt nod informed him he was free to collect his belongings and go. Thirty minutes later he was standing in front of the jail wondering how in the hell he was going to get to Trucker's house when he didn't even have enough for a cab ride. After a few minutes of just standing their like an idiot he pulled out his phone and swallowed his pride. Based on the time he assumed Trucker was at the grill. He pressed send and waited for a voice to pick up, and as fate would have it the voice that answered wasn't one he wanted to hear right now.

"Beach City Grill, subs by the inch."

He blew out a breath and rolled his eyes, this was definitely the worst streak of bad luck he had ever had. "Hey Tish is Trucker there?"

Her voice dropped in volume, "What happened last night? Everything was going well and then you were just gone. Where are you?"

"Last night shouldn't have happened and I'm sorry if I led you on. I need to talk to Trucker." It killed him to say such harsh words to her but it was necessary if he wanted this to not continue.

She let out a strangled noise before Trucker's voice came on. "Priestly are you ok? You never came back last night."

"I spent the night in jail, can you come get me?" God he sounded pathetic.

Trucker released a sound and Priestly couldn't tell if it was a laugh or a cough. "I'll be right there."

Twenty minutes later Trucker pulled up in the causemobile and shook his head at Priestly's disheveled appearance. He stayed silent while Priestly climbed in and once they were on the road where Priestly couldn't escape he pushed for what happened.

"I don't want to talk about it Truck."

Trucker kept pushing until Priestly finally broke and told him everything that had happened and all the feelings attached to everything. He poured out his heart finally letting Trucker in, giving him a first hand account of everything he had been dealing with since he got back and by the time he finished spilling his guts he was so tired he just passed out in the passenger seat, days and weeks and months of no sleep finally catching up to him. And for the first time in days and weeks and months he didn't have nightmares or wake up screaming, he simply opened his eyes and was back in the world of the living. When he looked to see what had woken him he saw Tish on the other side of the window with a slightly pissed expression. For a fleeting second he debated just locking the door and ignoring her but seeing as that would go over like a lead balloon he opened the door and stepped out into the soft night breeze.

Tish crossed her arms and stood a few feet away. "I get you're having a hard time but you can't just use me like a two dollar hooker and toss me aside."

"Everybody else does." The second the sarcastic retort left his lips he wanted to take it back. He hadn't meant it like that and a moment later his cheek was stinging from the slap that had connected a second before.

Tish was livid but hurt seeped into her tone against her will. "Apparently I was wrong about you. If you want to be alone fine, I won't call you anymore or bug you. I'll even ignore you when you come into the shop but don't ruin my memory of you by being an asshole."

Priestly rubbed his eyes wearily and slid down the side of Trucker's van into a slumped position on the stained black pavement. He closed his eyes and let his forehead rest against his knees, his thin arms wrapping around his legs. "I'm sorry Tish. I'd never use you, you're too good for that." He paused before whispering, "For me."

Her anger left in an instant and she huffed before throwing her arms up in the air. "You have to talk to me about things Priestly, you can't just run away from everything. Where did you even go last night?"

"Jail," he mumbled before picking himself up and leaning against the side of the van. "Drunk in public. Tish this won't work between us ok? I messed up and I'm sorry. I had a bad day yesterday and I wasn't thinking straight."

She stepped foreword and ignored Priestly's flinch. "Let me help you please. I thought we were having fun last night, I thought everything was going well and then you just left."

He scrapped the toe of his shoes across the dirty ground and stuffed his boney hands into his pockets. "About last night we…"

She waved her hand back and forth in a dismissive manner, "I'm on the pill don't worry about it and stop deflecting."

Deciding just like before he needed to put all his cards on the table. It was time to stop running. He had been running since he joined the army, hell he joined because he was running. It seemed all he did was run from truths, feelings, and people and it needed to stop. Now. "I had a great time last night. I can't remember the last time I laughed and just relaxed and then I just panicked. Things are just hard for me right now and I felt like I was only going to drag you down with me and I didn't want that to happen. You're fun and beautiful and innocent and I don't want to ruin that."

He looked up with sad eyes when Tish moved closer and ran her fingers across his stubbled jaw.

"Your eyes look better."

Priestly frowned, "What do you mean?"

She licked her lips and noticed that Priestly's eyes darted to her mouth before flickering back to her eyes. "I mean when you showed up you're eyes looked blank, like they didn't have anything left but now you can see things again. You always had the most beautiful and expressive eyes and they're finally starting to look like they used to."

His heart beat increased at her words. He couldn't do this, this was too real. She was asking him to feel and face things he didn't want to. Wasn't ready to. "I can't…" he choked out before pushing off the van and walking passed her into the inky night.


	3. Chapter 3

Priestly scratched at his stubbled chin with his short finger nails and stretched his stiff back after rising from his bed. With a stifled yawn he quietly walked over to the window and opened the blinds staring out at the horizon where the sun's light was barely starting to peek over the horizon. He turned and grabbed a pair of shorts and a shirt before making his way through Trucker's house, mindful of the squeaking boards by the back door. He slipped on his sneakers and a few minutes later his feet were pounding heavily on the concrete sidewalk as he sucked in gulps of the cool morning air. The further he ran the more he relaxed and when his muscles started to burn he pushed himself further hoping for the clarity that only came when you had nothing left to give. It was an amazing feeling to push yourself as hard as you could, to go further than you ever thought possible and when he felt like he had given everything he possible could he finally slowed to a slow jog and wiped the gathering sweat beads from his forehead with his arm, the white fabric on his right bicep absorbing the salty drops.

He glanced around and saw he was completely alone, not a single person anywhere in sight and felt relieved at that fact. There always seemed to be people every where and while he used to enjoy people he now dreaded them. Trucker kept telling him he needed to get out more and make connections but he didn't want connections, he just wanted to be left alone because if he let too many people in they would notice how badly he was doing with everything. It had been seven months since he returned home and while he was getting better physically his mind was still shattered into a billion tiny pieces. He rubbed his hand through his long, well longer hair and sighed. The mohawk was back but just like him it was much more subdued. It no longer stood tall and proud in an array of colors that would make Lucky Charms jealous, it was much shorter now and he just left it his natural color. He was finally putting on weight again but knew he was still underweight and doubted he would ever get to the point he could just scarf down food again. He had seen too many people suffering, too much horror to ever have an appetite again so he now just ate two small meals a day, just to keep himself going. The morning runs had started a couple months ago and he was now addicted to them, the fresh morning air and quiet solitude exactly what he had been searching for.

A quick look at his phone revealed he had been running for two hours already and he knew he needed to start back if he was going to make it to work on time. Work, if you even want to call it that. It was more like Trucker taking pity on him and letting him do random things just so he could pay him for menial tasks. He had tried to work normally at the grill but he just couldn't. No matter how hard he tried he didn't belong there anymore and trying to force himself to proved disastrous on more than one occasion so he now went on supply runs, washed some dishes and did Trucker's finances since he could sit quietly in Trucker's living room and work on them in the middle of the night when he still wasn't sleeping.

With one final cleansing breath he started running back to Trucker's house but stopped when a car pulled up next to him. He knew who's car it was and waited impatiently for the window to roll down so he could fulfill friendly obligations and continue on his run.

"Hey Priestly, you're going to be late. You want a ride to Truckers?" Tish asked happily.

He could still see the hope in her eyes and he wondered how anyone could be so patient and happy all the freaking time. She still wanted to be with him and he had no clue why. Why would anyone want to be with a shell of a person, with someone who is bitter and tired and just dead? Many a time in the last few months Tish had tried to get them to go out or talk but every single time Priestly shot her down. When they worked together she would rub against him slightly as she walked by, or lightly touch his arm when she spoke to him and every single time it was like someone was burning him with a thousand knifes dipped in acid. All he wanted was to say yes to her every time she asked for something, all he wanted was to take the comfort that she was so willing to give but every time he denied her what she yearned to give him. Peace. He didn't deserve it and wouldn't accept it. Sins covered him like a thick blanket and he knew he couldn't allow her in; he wouldn't ruin her like he had ruined himself and so many others.

"No, it's not that far."

Predictably her shoulders hunched and she forced a smile, just like every other time he shot her down. "Ok, well I'll see you soon then."

He watched her pull away before he started running again harder and faster than before. Why were all these emotions constantly assaulting him? If everyone would just leave him alone he could suffer quietly like he deserved and not have to put on an act in front of everyone to try to show that he was just fine. The worst part was no matter how hard he tried to hide everything Trucker, and Tish for some reason, could always see through it. He had perfected his poker face and could bury everything so deep he could hardly see it yet those two always knew exactly where to look and they loved to poke at him. Poke at his pain and fears. With a frustrated growl he swung open Trucker's door and after a quick shower he pulled on pants, his always trusty Converse and a red slogan free shirt. Recently he had debated buying some shirts like he used to wear but where they seemed funny before now they just seemed abrasive and tacky. Growing up he supposed, all part of growing up.

When he made it to the grill he immediately looked at his watch and was pleased to see he was exactly twenty two seconds early. He didn't like to be late; tardiness was unacceptable when others were depending on you. Being late could affect people's lives and he realized that now. His eyes scanned the grill and took in its inhabitants, no customers yet but Tish and Trucker were prepping for the day.

Trucker looked up with his usual relaxed smile and twinkling eyes. "Hey man, missed you at breakfast. Out for a run?"

He nodded once before standing by the counter, "What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing yet," the old hippie answered. "Just chill for a bit."

Priestly bit his tongue and did as told, sliding into the booth in the back. The pride part of him hated that Trucker was fully supporting him, it was pathetic. He was in his late twenties he should be able to pay his own bills, buy his own food, not mooch off someone who has already paid their dues and should be relaxing on a Hawaiian island right now. His eyes darted to the door when someone entered and he saw it was a heavily pregnant woman who looked beyond frazzled and tired. She had a small boy attached to her, his small hand wrapped up in the fabric of her shirt while he held on. Priestly's eyes met the boys and he offered a forced smile, which was returned by the boy who was missing quite a few teeth.

He knew he should feel relaxed right now but seeing the things he would never have grated on him heavily. He would never have a wife or kids, or a happy ending. His life would be filled with the same emptiness it was now because no one in their right mind would ever want him. Even though his world was crumbling the real world kept spinning and all the stupid people in it just kept living, oblivious to people's sacrifices so they could live and spout stupid shit and talk about legalizing marijuana and gay marriage when there were about a billion other things that deserved more attention, like soldiers dying because they don't have good enough equipment because the government is too corrupt and cheap and… Whoa, getting off track. He forced a calming breath out of his nose and stared at the table trying to get away from the bitter hateful thoughts that were trying to consume him. For the last month anger had been a constant in him, an all consuming rage that threatened to burst forth without notice. The emptiness he felt months before had been replaced by something so much worse. Wrath. Every time he turned on the tv or walked past stupid protestors talking about random things it took everything he had to not want to kill them. To not run over and with hands that had seen their fair share of blood kill them with a simple pull of the trigger and a bullet between the eyes. Every one was so wrapped up in their own agendas, of what they thought was right or wrong that they didn't see the big picture which was the fact that people's lives were getting destroyed daily and no one seemed to care. Would that little boy grow up like that? Sheltered from everything bad until he walked out into the world with his selfishness and on his high horse to spew nonsense to the masses?

A hand on his shoulder made him jerk in surprise and he barely caught himself before he lashed out. He looked at Tish who was staring at him wearily. "You're glaring at that child and I think it's starting to freak him out."

Hating that Tish had once again seen his clearly displayed emotions he rose from the booth and walked to the back alleyway to focus himself and get away from all this hatred. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the rough brick exterior of the building, ignoring the sharp bite from its rough edges. He felt more than heard someone behind him and turned to see Trucker watching him through kind eyes.

"You can head out if you want. It's slow today."

Priestly turned and leaned his back against the dark red wall, moving slightly so that his shoulders weren't digging into the rough brick. "People suck Truck." That wasn't what he was going to say but it slipped past his lips unwillingly.

To his amazement Trucker laughed and crossed his arms, "Yes they do but there are a few who aren't too bad."

Silence overtook the pair and engulfed the alley until Priestly spoke again. "How'd you do it Truck?" The question was simple and didn't need further explanation. Priestly knew it was stupid to ask, like Trucker had been hiding the magic cure all this entire time and was just waiting for him to ask for it so he could administer it.

Trucker shook his head, "It took time man. Surfing helped. I wish I could give you more but you just have to be patient and when it happens it happens. I can tell you it will get better though." His words were spoken earnestly but inside he wondered if there was any truth to them. It had gotten better of him but that didn't mean it would for Priestly, it had been months and it wasn't getting better. He was spiraling down into a bottomless pit and all everyone could do was watch.

Priestly nodded quietly, obviously not believing his older friends words. "I've been thinking a lot lately. About everything."

Trucker nodded encouragingly.

"I think I'm going to reenlist."

That was clearly not what Trucker was ready to hear because his eyes widened and his stance shifted into a more stiff form. He didn't say anything for a few minutes and the silence was starting to get to Priestly who ploughed on despite Trucker's troubled expression. "I just think it's for the best. I don't belong here anymore and we both know that."

Trucker finally found his words. "You have to do what you think is right kid," He stopped speaking abruptly and Priestly could tell by his cheek muscle twitching that he was dying to say more. He almost wanted him to, to say 'no, don't do this. It will destroy the last shred of humanity you have left', but both stayed silent.

He had been thinking about it for a while and today was the straw that broke the already broken camel's back. Glaring and feeling spite towards children was a definite sign that things needed to change fast. He cleared his throat just to make a noise to break the tension and met Trucker's gaze. "I'm going to talk to them today so I should be out of your hair soon. Thanks for everything and I think I will head out for today."

Not waiting for a response he turned and walked out of the alley towards the street. This was what he wanted, what was right so why did it feel so wrong? With a shake of his head he headed to Trucker's house to grab his bag and head to a hotel. He didn't want Trucker to have time to think about it or talk to anyone else about it. When he finally reached the somewhat familiar house he grabbed his bag and walked to the living room to take in everything one last time. This would be the last time he would see the small house, the last time he would smell the incense that were always burning, and the last time he would see anything good for a long time. Maybe forever. His hand dropped his bag and he sat down heavily on the couch, his face resting in his palms as he tried to reign in his emotions. A shuddering breath escaped his chapped lips and against his will tears began to fall from his emerald eyes. He felt so lost, and scared and alone and it was just over whelming. Before he realized what he was doing his lips were moving.

"God I know I don't have a right to ask for anything. I know I've messed up more than once and done horrible things but I need you help." He licked his lips and let out a choked sob. "I'm scared and I'm flying blind. I have no idea what to do here but I know if something doesn't change I'm going to do something stupid. I'm drowning here. Send me a sign that I'm doing the right thing. Give me any thing. Please God."

It was too much and for the first time in four years and seven months he let himself go. Completely let everything go and as the tears fell down his face in quick succession and as he drew in shuddering gulps of air he finally didn't feel like he was empty. If he could cry this much and for so much then there had to be something there and he could work with that and build on it. Sitting on Truckers couch curled up into a tiny ball and crying hysterically was what he had needed. He cried for his brothers living and dead, he cried for the loss of his innocence, he cried for his weaknesses and he cried for all the days he wasted. Eventually his sobs turned into sniffles and hiccups and he forced himself off the couch and into the shower to wash away the evidence of the last hour. The water all too soon turned cold and with reluctance he stepped out and gathered a towel around himself before stepping out of the bathroom and walking to his room. He slipped on boxers and shorts foregoing a shirt and walked to the kitchen to grab a few beers.

Two hours and eight beers later he was feeling a lot more relaxed than earlier but he was still stuck on whether to reenlist or not. It seemed like the right thing to do but at the same time it seemed like a slap in the face to everyone who had died next to him. The four years were the worst and here he was contemplating going back, what the hell was wrong with him? His hands started to shake as figures and memories assaulted him and before he knew it he was back.

The air was hot and stale as he drew in rapid breaths trying to focus his panicked mind. As a bullet tore through the mud brick wall he was smashed against he shifted as much as he could to get away. Sweat trickled down his spine and down his legs before gathering at the lip of his dusty leather boots. He was panicking, choking while he could hear the screams of his comrades desperate for help. With shaking hands he released his clip and checked to see how many rounds he had left, not enough and he knew the two other clips in his pocket were empty. An explosion sounded outside the building he was in, making the walls quiver and his organs tremble as dust fell from around him coating him quickly. He breathed in through the cloth mask over his nose and mouth and closed his eyes to pray for strength before turning the corner and opening fire.

Bullets ripped from his gun in quick succession and he tried to ignore the thick wet thump sound they made when they connected with human tissue, the squishing sound they made as they pierced through skin and muscle. Screams echoed in his ears and he tried to forget that these were people too, just following orders just like him. It was easiest if you didn't look at their eyes because eyes made them real, human. Eyes showed their fear and their shattered souls and when they died their eyes froze, forever showing the world their last thoughts and emotions.

With a gasp he jerked himself out of his memory and looked around frantically trying to see what reality he was in, if he was still stuck in hell. No, he couldn't go back. He wouldn't survive and as tempting as that sounded right now and a lot of other times he wouldn't let others sacrifices be in vain. He grabbed his phone and looked at the display which showed he had been zoning out for the last three hours. They were getting worse, more real and lasting longer than ever. He scrolled down his list of contacts and pressed send before trying to slow his breathing and retrieve his semblance of control. When the voice answered he didn't doubt he did the right thing.

"Hey Tish. You want to hang out tonight?" He knew his voice was shaking but he ignored at and waited for a response. What if she said no? What if she had just finally given up on him? It had taken him seven long months to get to this point, hopefully she hadn't moved on.

"Really? You're not going to bail or anything?" she asked incredulously.

He stayed quite and thought about it, entertained the idea. This still didn't feel right but then again nothing felt right anymore. Not where he was living, working, his clothes, hell his skin didn't feel right anymore. "I won't bail. Do you want me to meet you at your house after you get off work?"

"No, I'll pick you up. I have to get back to work though, I'll see you tonight."

Priestly stared at the phone after Tish hung up and felt an unfamiliar feeling creeping into his consciousness. Excitement. He was excited to hang out with Tish. He let out a small laugh before realizing he should probably at least try to look presentable. He walked to the bathroom and grabbed his razor before shaving, being careful as the sharp blade glided across his skin and being mindful of his sideburns. After finishing he grabbed some gel and did his hair in his small mohawk, making it stand as tall as the short strands would let it.

The next few hours ticked by and the closer it got to closing time at the grill the more nervous he got. Doubts started to mingle with the excitement dulling it. What if this was all wrong, what if he couldn't do a relationship? He hadn't had one in years and it wasn't like he had much to offer. When a knock sounded on Trucker's door he stalled to answer it and looked up when Tish just walked in.

She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, "You have bail face. You're going to try to get out of this aren't you?"

He hunched his shoulders and looked for the right words, his high and excitement from earlier completely gone. "Tish, I just…"

She shook her head. "You are not bailing, that's why I came here to get you. We can go somewhere, go to my house, or stay here. Pick."

Surprised by her tone the corners of his lips twitched. "Your place."

"Good choice, now come on."

He followed obediently and tried to ignore how uncomfortable the ride to her house was when no one quite knew what to say. When they arrived Tish watched him closely as he climbed from the car and walked to her door, like he was going to bolt at any moment. Once inside she sat him down on the couch and a short time later emerged with dinner. She placed a plate in front of him before starting to eat hers.

He eyed the food which looked and smelled delicious but it was too much. He would never eat all this. "Thanks Tish but.."

"Don't talk, eat. All of it."

Again he was startled by her tone and within a few minutes he had cleaned his entire plate. He waited for the inevitable silence to return but Tish wasn't going to allow it to happen. "We need to talk."

Priestly wondered if he just ran what she would do. Talks were never good, when someone said 'we need to talk' it usually led to bad things.

"You need help Priestly, what you're doing isn't working. You look a lot better, I'll give you that but you need more help than Trucker can give. We spoke today and we think you need to go see a physiatrist regularly."

He blanched, "Wow, just come out and say it. Well I'll take your thoughts and concerns into consideration," he bit out sarcastically. This was so not how he saw tonight going. It bothered him immensely that she and Trucker talked about him when he wasn't there, like he was some crazy person who needed supervision and a caretaker. Wait.

She shook her head, "It's not open for debate, you're going. We've watched you suffer long enough its time to do something about it."

He wanted to keep his mouth shut, God did he want to just stay quiet but he couldn't. Every fiber of his being was ready to lash out and it took all of his self control to not physically remove the threat in front of him. It didn't matter that is was Tish, or a woman, or an unarmed civilian he wanted it gone. "You don't know what you're talking about and you need to mind your own damn business. If I'm going to go down in flames there's nothing you or Trucker or anyone can do to stop me. Back off, stop bugging me, and leave me the hell alone. Let me burn."

Seeing she had gone about this the completely wrong way she tried to back pedal. "We only want to help you and you won't let us. Tell us what to do, tell me how to help you."

"Help me? You can't help me Tish, don't you get that?" His anger was quickly fading leaving him desperate and exhausted. When he continued his voice broke and moisture unwillingly gathered in his eyes. "You can't fix me, it's way too late for that. There's nothing to piece back together Tish." He blew out a breath, "I was thinking today that I want to reenlist," he said quietly.

She threw her arms in the air before speaking in an angry voice, "Why would you do that? If you're that hell bent on killing yourself just go buy a gun, save the taxpayers money." Seeing his horrified expression she felt terrible but continued. "That's what you're trying to do right because we all know you won't come home again."

He sat quietly on the couch accepting the truth in her words. This was definitely a one way trip and he knew that, that's why he had decided against it. "I'm not going to, I just thought about it," he said quietly. "I just don't know what to do, how to live anymore." With a sniffle that escaped against his will he let himself fall back onto the couch and rubbed his eyes, "I'll talk to somebody."

Tish looked cautiously optimistic, "Promise?"

Priestly nodded, "Promise." He took a deep breath and stood, "I'm going to go, thanks for dinner."

"What? Why?" Tish asked with a confused expression.

"I'm tired and I don't want to talk about all this," he said bluntly. He wasn't really tired he was actually so bone deep exhausted that basic function was proving to be difficult. He wasn't sure how much longer he could continue like this. The worst part was that even though he was exhausted he would go to Trucker's house; lie down, and instead of sleep he would stare at the ceiling for nine hours trying to force away the nightmares and whispers that only came to him in the darkness of night.

"We won't talk about anything else tonight. Do you want to lie down for a bit?"

He was already shaking his head, "I should just go." A large yawn escaped him and he rubbed his eyes again suddenly feeling like his entire body was just going to collapse.

Not wanting to force or stress him but wanting him to just relax she grabbed his hand and gently led him to her room.

Seeing where they were heading he stiffened only relaxing slightly when Tish assured him he was only going to nap and that was all. Not having the energy to argue he simply kicked off his sneakers and laid down on the bed before staring at the wall for a few minutes, acutely aware of her staring at him the entire time.

She released a sigh and sat down on the edge of the bed, "Why can't you sleep? Can I do anything to help?"

He stayed silent because he didn't have an answer. Nothing he seemed to do helped. Warm milk, baths, night jogs, nothing had the desired effect except his insomnia pills but those were absolutely out of the question. He would rather literally die of exhaustion then spend another night stuck in hell.

"Take off your shirt."

Priestly startled at the command and turned to look at her with wide eyes. "Excuse me?"

She let out a small laugh at how that must have sounded. "Sorry. Let me give you a back rub, maybe it will help." Seeing he wasn't convinced she held up her right hand, "I'll keep it PG, scouts honor."

He eyes her critically for a few more seconds until a smile appeared on his lips. "I highly doubt you were a girl scout," he said as he sat up and lifted his shirt over his head. He knew she was just trying to get him to relax by injecting humor and he allowed it to happen, he could use some light humor. After removing his shirt he lay back down on his stomach and forced himself not to react when Tish's hips were suddenly sitting on his thighs and her cool hands were rubbing against his warm skin. Every touch felt like fire as her hands glided over his tense muscles and sharp shoulders, providing just the right amount of pressure on his muscles and backing off just enough when her hands traced over his ribs. Eventually the fire subsided as a general warmth began to spread through him until his entire body was wrapped in a cocoon of security and comfort. Somewhere in the back of his half asleep mind he felt a kiss being placed to his shoulder, and with that simple motion his conciseness subsided and he drifted off into nothingness.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. I'm the absolute worst with endings so I hope this chapter did this story justice and didn't ruin it.

"It's your fault SPC Priestly! You should have responded faster!"

Sweat poured down his dirty face and he gritted his teeth in anger as his commanding officer continued to scream at him. Even though it went against everything he was he stayed silent and took the punishment he deserved. He continued listening to the man yell at him until a loud explosion blew their vehicle off the road.

Priestly's eyes snapped open as he sucked in deep breaths of air into his lungs, images from his nightmare still flashing before his wide unseeing eyes. When everything finally came into focus his eyes darted around the unfamiliar room and panic started to creep in before he recognized his surroundings as Tish's bedroom. No matter how many times he woke in this room he never recognized it when his eyes first opened, it always felt unfamiliar. With a shuddered breath he sat up on the bed and dropped his face into his trembling hands. Why did he have to see every horrible thing almost every single night, why couldn't the universe just give him a short reprieve? As the minutes ticked by he glanced around the room and saw that he was completely alone. After he had somewhat gathered himself he lowered his hands from his face and looked at the clock, his eyebrows rising as he read the time. He had slept for seven hours, longer than he had in a while. He found his shirt on the floor and slipped it on before grabbing his converse and lacing them quickly. His eyes skittered cautiously around the hallway and eventually the living room trying to see if anyone else was here. A small smile graced his lips when he saw Tish asleep on the couch halfway under a darkly toned throw, he would never tire of seeing her beautiful face.

He appreciated her giving him space and not sleeping in her bed with him when he came over. He felt bad that she had to sleep on the couch every time he came over but words couldn't express how much he appreciated her patience and willingness to help him. It meant a lot to have her and Trucker care so much; they gave him a reason to live.

With quite movements he made his way to her and grabbed the thin material of the blanket and lifted it to cover her better. When she moved slightly he froze but breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't wake up. Knowing he shouldn't but finding he couldn't help himself he gently tucked a piece of her chestnut red hair behind her ear and leaned down to place a feather light kiss upon her forehead before slipping out the door.

As he walked back to Trucker's house he was surprised at how light he felt. It was as if everything was still there but he alone didn't have to shoulder the burden anymore. His eyes flickered around to look at the houses and buildings around him and he paused in front of a small building a few blocks from Tish's house. He took in the deep red brick exterior and the nicely landscaped entrance and with slight trepidation he leaned forward and grabbed a paper out of the container in front of him. It was a flat for rent, one room, small and actually affordable. He folded it carefully and stuck it in the back pocket of his blue jeans as he mentally went over how much he made versus how much it would cost to live on his own. He had been saving as much money as possible but his bank account wasn't exactly looking great, actually is was pretty pathetic but it was an improvement from when he first returned. After careful consideration he figured he might just be able to do this. It would be tight, like maybe not eat some days tight, but doable. Without further hesitation he pulled out the flyer again and called the number.

Just as he walked into Trucker's house he ended the call with a large smile.

"What has you so happy?"

He looked to his left to see Trucker crouched in his doorway slipping on an old loafer.

"I found a place to live. I just have to meet them and sign on the dotted line and it's mine."

Trucker smiled brightly but inside he was worried. Priestly definitely needed a place of his own, that much was obvious but he was afraid of what might become of him when there was no one around. At least here he had someone to talk to, someone to lean on when necessary but if he left Trucker wasn't sure he would keep the connections he's made. He seemed to be walking a fine line and moving out was sure to tip him in one direction or the other, and hopefully he would fall in the right direction because if not this could get so, so much worse. "That's great! When are you meeting them?"

He sucked on his bottom lip for a moment. "This afternoon, could I maybe leave for a bit?" he asked cautiously.

Trucker nodded before a sly look appeared on his tan face, "So you never came home last night." He didn't vocalize the obvious question but he was hoping Priestly finally let Tish in. Sadly this was not the case.

Priestly arched an eyebrow and shook his head, "Nothing happened Truck, she doesn't want me."

Trucker walked to the kitchen and grabbed the keys for the cause-mobile and the grill. "I'm inclined to disagree."

Not wanting to talk about relationships that shouldn't and wouldn't happen he moved on to a safer topic. "I better get ready for work, I'll see you there." He turned and disappeared into his room without another word and only relaxed when he heard the back door open and close. With a heavy sigh he grabbed a towel and walked to the bathroom sneezing at the smell of the incense burning in the living room. Once he was under the hot water of the old showerhead he took a few deep cleansing breaths trying to dispel the general sense of unease that had started when he woke and had now grown to the point of severe anxiety.

Why had he stayed at Tish's last night, what the hell was he doing? She may not realize it but she didn't want him, he was so messed up. His heart ached at the thought that he could have her if he wanted, all he had to do was give in but he wouldn't, the price was too high. He wouldn't make her have to watch him and take care of him, she deserved to be taken care of not the other way around but God had it felt good to give the reigns to someone else last night. Last night had been the sixth time he had slept at Tish's in three months and every time it felt wonderful and every morning after he felt guilty. They would hang out, she would lull him to sleep with a backrub, he would wake in the early morning from a nightmare and leave the house before she woke and that was how it had gone every single time. He didn't mean to string her along yet he always seemed to find himself on her door step like some lost stray dog looking for someone to let him in if only for a short while.

He pulled back the ocean scene shower curtain and looked at his watch that was sitting on the sinks edge, his eyes widening when he saw the tie. He was going to be late if he kept thinking about all this. With quick movements he finished his shower, dressed and ran out the door barely making it to the shop on time.

Piper glanced up when she heard the door jingle and smiled at Priestly's panting form. "Running late today?"

He shook his head and blew out a breath trying to compose himself before he stood straight and returned her smile. "No, I'm right on time. I have no idea what you're talking about."

She laughed and shook her head before going back to chopping up celery for the chicken salad. It was nice to have the joking Priestly everyone knew back. It had taken quite a while and he still wasn't fully back to his old sarcastic and eccentric personality but he was getting at least to a point he could have a little fun. "That might have sounded more convincing if you didn't sound like someone ripped out your lungs."

He shook his head and grabbed his apron from under the counter and tied it loosely around his hips. "You try running three miles full speed and see how you sound."

She smiled and watched as he grabbed a brush and began cleaning the grill. He was finally getting to the point he could function somewhat normally in public. His duties had increased at the grill and he now almost looked comfortable, aside from his harsh flinches at loud noises but at least he wasn't having as many flashbacks lately. The psychiatrist that Tish and Trucker had forced him to go see was definitely helping and with her help he had finally figured out his medication to the point he could take it and only have nightmares once in a while.

It had been hard at first for him to share his deepest fears and insecurities with a complete stranger but once he finally began talking it was like he couldn't stop. Over the last three months everything had just poured out of him to this woman who he saw twice a week for an hour each time. She listened patiently and offered suggestions but never forced him to do or speak about things he didn't feel comfortable with. She was honestly a Godsend and Priestly actually looked forward to speaking with her because then he wouldn't have to carry everything around with him all the time.

Piper was about to say something else but stopped when a customer walked in and ordered a hot roast beef sandwich. Priestly listened to the order before making the sandwich quickly and handing it to Piper to give to the customer. It felt good to be a part of the grill again, to be able to be in public and not have an overwhelming fear threatening to consume you constantly. Unfortunately his fear returned ten fold when he wasn't at the grill or Trucker's house. Things like grocery shopping or just going to the beach caused him so much stress he tried to avoid them at all costs, it seemed no matter what he tried or the psychiatrist said he couldn't seem to gather enough confidence to be on his own.

He looked up when the door bell rang and smiled at Trucker, raising his spatula in greeting. "Hey Truck."

The older man nodded and smiled, "What time do you have to leave today?"

Priestly glanced at the clock, "Couple hours and it shouldn't take too long."

Piper wanted to ask where he was going but chose not to. Everyone knew it made Priestly uncomfortable talking about his psych appointments or anything personal so they tried to ignore him when he spoke to Trucker about things. No one but Trucker had any idea what he felt everyday or how his mind now worked so they left it to Trucker to speak to him and stuck only to safe topics, Tish being the exception. She often talked softly to him about things when the grill was slow and to everyone's surprise he actually shared some things with her, not much but a little.

Priestly sat on his couch and flipped idly through the channels as he sucked down a Capri sun, he had never liked them before but after drinking them quite often on missions over seas he had gained a taste for the sugary beverage. His thumb pressed down repeatedly on the channel button but he wasn't even paying attention to what was on the television, his mind a million miles away.

A year, it had been an entire year since he had returned from over seas and for the first time since his return he felt like progress had been made. He had moved out of Trucker's house and into the flat he had looked at two months ago. It was fully furnished which was nice considering he didn't have anything to put in there but something was missing. It felt cold at night and lonely during the day. Two months ago he was starting to feel slightly better about being out in public and rebuilding his relationships with his friends but lately he just didn't want to go anywhere. The flat was safe and he didn't have to please anyone of act a certain way here. He hadn't seen his psychiatrist in two weeks and he knew that wasn't good but he didn't want to talk anymore. He had stopped going to Tish's house and only went to Trucker's once in a blue moon. A sigh escaped him as he sucked down the last of his drink, if things were going well why did it still feel like he was slowly falling apart?

He heard a knock on his door and ignored it, probably someone selling something he couldn't afford anyway. The knock sounded again followed by a muffled, "It's me Priestly", me meaning Trucker. With a general heaviness he slowly worked towards the door before swinging it open, surprise appearing on his face when he saw Tish was with him. His eyes drifted from their smiling faces downward to take in the large german sheppard by Trucker's feet that was sitting casually and staring at him with large brown eyes. He quirked an eyebrow before looking back up at his friends eager faces, "Hey guys, what's up?"

He moved out of the way to allow them to enter and waited for an explanation for the animal that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Trucker smiled at his young friend, "We got you a dog."

Priestly nodded slowly, "Okay." He stared at their faces and could tell there was more to it. "May I ask why?"

Tish stepped forward with a somewhat apprehensive expression and nervously started wringing her hands. "We got him because we talked to your therapist," Priestly cringed, he hated that he sounded like a crazy person, "and she agreed with us that he should help. He's trained to help people with PTSD."

He once again dropped his gaze to the dog who was looking around the room from his seated position. The dog looked so normal and a frown covered his features, "Seriously?"

Trucker spoke up, "Yes. We all know you're having a hard time and we all think this can help you. He's trained to do all kinds of things." Seeing Priestly's skeptical face he continued, hoping his bluntness would be well received and not upset him. "He'll wake you up from nightmares, offer security. You can't be alone all the time; you need someone or something here. He'll help if you let him."

He stared at the dog and the dog stared at him for a few tense seconds, green and brown eyes locked.

"Touch him," Tish said softly.

Priestly finally broke eye contact with the animal and dropped down to a crouch and softly scratched the dog's ears before the dog leaned forward and gently licked his face. After a minute he looked up at the pair who were still watching him. "So, he's mine?"

Trucker understood the question, he was asking if he was really his or if he would have to give him back at some point. He knew if Priestly got attached to this animal and they took it away it would be disastrous. "All yours."

Although he didn't notice his face lit up slightly and a small smile spread across his lips. He had never had a dog even though he wanted one all his life, his dad had tried to do everything he could to get him one but they could never afford it. Speaking of. He stood and took a step back, his expression becoming closed off once again and Tish began to worry.

"I appreciate this guys but I can't afford a dog right now." He felt slightly embarrassed by his financial situation but everyone already knew he was pretty much broke so it wasn't too bad saying it out loud. Everyone seemed to know his business lately and it bugged him, some things should be private, like finances and mental conditions.

"We bought him for you, he's a gift. He doesn't need shots or anything until late next year. He's good to go, already has a collar and leash. All you have to do is feed him."

God he wanted this animal but he just wasn't sure. "No pets in the building."

Trucker shook his head with a smile, pleased that he had a solution for all the problems Priestly was bringing up. "Already called your landlord. He's a service dog, he's allowed anywhere and everywhere."

This was too good to be true and he looked down when the dog walked over and sat beside him, leaning slightly against his leg to offer comfort. The weight and heat from the animal made him feel safe and his hand dropped down to gently scratch behind the dog's ears. "What's his name?"

"Niko," Tish answered with a small smile. She glanced at Trucker before turning back to him, "We're going to head out, call us if you need anything ok?"

Priestly nodded and walked to the door, the dog following him closely until sitting obediently when Priestly reached the door and stopped. Trucker clapped him on the shoulder and walked away smiling before Tish came up to him and stood in front of him with a relaxed smile and apprehensive eyes. The pair just stood across from each other, inches apart waiting for one to move. Just as Tish lost hope Priestly leaned down and kissed her cheek softly, "Thanks Tish."

Not wanting to crowd him or turn it into something he still wasn't ready for she stepped back and loosely grabbed his hand. "You're welcome. Call me."

He nodded and watched her walk away before closing and locking his door and turning to face his new companion. "...and then there were two," he whispered to himself.

Over the course of the next month and a half Priestly made so much progress it was astounding. He began putting on weight and was now healthy looking, bones no longer protruding from his shoulders and face. His mohawk was slightly longer, yet still shorter than it was and he had gotten his ears repierced a couple weeks ago. He was working full time at the grill and was actually beginning to joke with the regulars and speak to people in public. It was obvious to everyone that Niko was what he had needed all along and they were thankful that they had stumbled upon him. He was a constant fixture in Priestly's life, sleeping with him at night, laying under the farthest booth at the grill and accompanying him everywhere he went.

It was a warm Thursday evening when Priestly finally came to a decision on an issue that had been bugging him for months upon months. He grabbed Niko's leash and began his walk to Tish's house, taking his time so he could think about everything and make sure he was making the right decision. Tish had been so patient with him and had shown him so much compassion in the last year it amazed him, and even when he shot her down repeatedly she still swallowed her pride and stayed by his side. But no more, he was no longer going to push her away, he was finally ready to accept everything she had been trying to give him. As her house came into view he grabbed one of Niko's ears and gently pulled, the dog pushing against his leg in response to try to alleviate his obvious stress.

With shaking hands he knocked on Tish's door and waited patiently for her to answer, knowing she wasn't at work today.

She swung open the door before her eyebrows rose in surprise, "Hey Priestly! What's up?" He hadn't been to her house in months but it was nice to see him out and about, actually taking part in the world instead of watching it pass him by.

He shrugged, "Taking Niko for a walk, thought I'd stop by." The dog looked up at him when his name was mentioned and Tish leaned down to pat his head softly.

She stood and waved her hand towards her living room, "Well come in."

He entered and slipped off his shoes by the door before following her to her couch and sitting down.

Tish watched as the dog followed him closely and leaned against him when he sat, the dog's head lying on his lap. Priestly's hand instantly buried itself in Niko's thick fur and she smiled at the interaction. "So how are things going with Niko?"

He smiled brightly, his perfect teeth on display. "Great!" He glanced around the house before bringing his attention back to Tish, nervousness appearing on his tan face. "Tish, I was uh… I…"

She frowned at his sudden nervousness and waited for him to continue, wondering what he was going to say.

He glanced at Niko for strength and the dog's eyes darted to Tish before looking at him again, as if saying 'get on with it'. "I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight. On a… date."

Tish's jaw dropped, "Are you serious?" She had wanted this for so long but in all honesty she had given up and resigned herself to just being his friend. To hear him say the word 'date' was shocking and pleasing but also made her apprehensive.

He looked extremely uncomfortable and looked at Niko not wanting to meet her eyes. "Never mind, sorry," he mumbled. She had moved on, she no longer wanted him and she obviously thought it was a joke to even go out with him. He had been stupid, he had missed his chance. He moved to get up but paused when Tish's small hand touched his.

She shook her head and grabbed his hand to still him, "No Priestly, I didn't mean it like that I'm just surprised. I have to ask you though, are you sure about this? I like you a lot but I can't handle being jerked around by you. You mean too much to me."

He continued staring at Niko, gathering strength from his warm brown eyes. "No, I'm not sure about this. I still feel lost and this still doesn't feel like the right thing right now but I want this, I want you. I want to be selfish and not worry about consequences." When he didn't get a response he finally looked up at her and was confused as to why she was smiling.

She reached out and softly ran her fingers down the side of his head right behind his ear before stopping her hand on his jaw. "You deserve to be selfish Priestly, you've given enough."

He bit his lip and nodded as he looked away, words escaping him and emotions threatening to overwhelm him. Wanting to get away from anything heavy he cleared his throat and met her eyes. "So where do you want to go?"

She shrugged, "Wherever, I don't really care. I'll go freshen up and you think it over ok?"

He nodded and she walked away leaving only Niko and him staring at each other. "Well buddy, you have any suggestions?"

Niko stayed silent so the decision was left to him and he chose a nearby restaurant. Sitting alone in Tish's living room he took time to reflect on everything that had happened lately and couldn't help but smile. It finally felt like there was a future, not just a horrible past. He could finally begin to get on with his life and it felt wonderful to admit that.

"Ready?"

He looked to his left and smiled at the sight of Tish in a white sundress, "Yeah, let's go."

They walked to the door and Tish glanced at Niko who was obediently standing next to Priestly and leaning slightly into his leg. "Are you bringing Niko?"

He glanced at Niko and his hand reached down to grab an ear and tug slightly, a subconscious gesture he had recently noticed he does when nervous. He looked at Tish before looking back at his best friend. Did she not want him to bring him? The thought of going our without him scared him, Niko offered comfort and security. He wasn't sure if he could go out without him.

Seeing she had made him anxious she jumped in, "I was just wondering. If he makes you more comfortable he should go with us, now come on."

Priestly let out a sigh of relief but his hand was still wrapped around the dog's ear as they walked out the door and headed towards the restaurant. It was close by since he doubted Tish wanted his furry friend all over her car. When they got to the restaurant Priestly showed them the card that showed Niko was a service dog and a few minutes later Niko was nestled across the top of Priestly's feet under the booth, offering silent comfort.

He shifted slightly in the booth, hating how extremely uncomfortable this was. As if reading his mind Tish grinned at him, "Want something strong to drink?"

A small laugh escaped him and some tension drained out of him, "God yes."

As dinner progressed Priestly realized this was right, he deserved to be happy and he wasn't going to stand in his own way anymore. Tish had been correct earlier when she had told him he had given enough. Dinner passed quickly and drinks were downed in quick succession until eventually the giggling pair stumbled out of the restaurant and walked back to Tish's house.

All to soon for both their liking they stood on Tish's doorstep staring at each other, relaxed smiles on both their faces. Priestly rocked back on his heels for a moment and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I had fun tonight."

She nodded, "Me too, I'm glad you finally asked me out."

He blushed, "Me too." He bit his lip and dropped one of his hands to touch Niko. "Thanks for everything. For being patient with me, and Niko, and just everything. I don't know what I would have done without you and Truck."

Tish leaned forward and pulled him into a hug, frowning when he pulled back slightly after only a second.

His heart was racing as he lifted his head and waited for her to do the same. This was it, the moment he had been waiting for. Without any hesitation or doubt he dipped his head and softly kissed her, his eyes sliding shut as the kiss deepened. The kiss continued until Tish pulled back slightly and he looked at her wondering what she was going to say.

She grinned widely, "Priestly I'm trying to take this slow but I think my patience finally ran out."

Priestly promptly dropped Niko's leash and kicked the door shut before kissing her fervently. The pair stumbled towards the bedroom locked in a heated kiss, hands roaming and pulling off clothes. They landed on the bed with a soft thump. Tish moaned when Priestly started trailing kisses down her neck but let out a laugh when she noticed two brown eyes staring at her from the edge of the bed.

Confused by her giggle Priestly stopped and lifted his head to look at her face, "What?"

She smiled and pointed to the side of the bed where Niko was resting his head watching them. He laughed before pointing to the door, "Get."

The german sheppard immediately trotted out of the room and Priestly turned back to look at Tish with a grin, "Now where were we?"

She smiled and pulled off his boxers before pulling his head down to kiss him again, "Right about here."

A while later Priestly pulled Tish to his chest and buried his face in her silky hair, breathing in her intoxicating scent. His arm lifted from her waist and he snapped his fingers quietly before putting his hand back around Tish's sleeping form. A moment later he heard feet padding over the carpet and the bed gave way as Niko jumped up and laid down against his back. His thick fur offered warmth and comfort and Priestly fought a shiver when his cool nose pushed against the back of his neck.

Sandwiched between the two Priestly allowed a smile and closed his eyes, basking in the feeling that he never thought he would ever feel again.

Peace.


End file.
